Retroactive : 1981

The year in music : 1981

If 1980 had been all about the riffs and denim, 1981 represented an abrupt about-turn towards synths and eyeliner. Pop flourished on both sides of the Atlantic, the Brits boasting a new crop of dynamic pop acts grouped under the banner of the 'New Romantic' movement whilst the Yanks fought back against the lumpen FM radio domination of Journey and REO Speedwagon with some retro R'n'R of their own as the likes of Blondie, The Go-Gos and Joan Jett all topped the charts. Gender-bending theatre was in again and Adam Ant emerged as the UK's biggest selling artist of the year whilst Smash Hits magazine reached an early sales peak and something called MTV finally hit the airwaves Stateside. The likes of Duran Duran, Depeche Mode and The Human League all got off the blocks into careers that would go on to dominate the decade as pop's new guard took over - my choices reflect this with a fairly heavy focus on synths over guitars, though there are a couple of ugly interjections from the underground to level things out. Let's re-run the fun from back in '81!

Albums of the year

1. Soft Cell - Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret

It took me a while to decide whether I was going to put this or 'Dare' at #1, but after much reflection I decided that I was going to plump for the Cell's debut for a couple of reasons. Firstly, Marc Almond is much more of an interesting frontman than Phil Oakey - whilst the latter struck an impressive figure prancing around onstage with a stupid haircut, Marc acted the role of a mischevious pop pixie let loose in porn shop and had the tunes to fill out the image. Every song on this album is seeped in the lifestyle he was living at the time - sleazy, nocturnal and darkly fascinating. If you could open a door and walk inside 'Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret', your shoes would stick to the floor, the drinks would be overpriced and there would be suspicious stains on the seats. Plus, it has 'Sex Dwarf on it. That's the other reason.

But it was a fucking close call - 'Dare' is probably a more sonically inventive record and took synths to a higher level but 'Non-Stop' gets the edge because it's more enjoyable. Perhaps unwittingly, the duo set the format for electropop duos that would soundtrack the 80s : two gay dudes, one on singing/mincing duties front of stage and the other stood still at the back behind a stack of keyboards. The tunes are there too - opener 'Frustration' sets the scene of a random nobody desperate to break out of his bog-tedious life before the rest of the record descends into the underbelly of society via nightclubs, porn parlours and minging bedsits. The subject matter didn't stop the guys racking up a string of massive hit singles either - the unholy trinity of 'Bedsitter', 'Say Hello Wave Goodbye' and 'Tainted Love' are all included here, the latter ranking as 1981's best-seller. They flung out a follow-up EP in '82 entitled 'Non-Stop Erotic Dancing' which Almond later admitted was recorded and mixed ripped to the tits on MDMA (so it's not just a clever title then?), notched up two more massive hits with 'Torch' and 'What?' and then promptly killed off their chart success with career torpedo 'The Art of Falling Apart' before splitting in '84. Marc went solo and was back at #1 before the end of the decade whilst Dave formed The Grid and smashed out some killer banjo-techno in the early 90s, proving that both could write hits if they felt like it. 'Non-Stop' remains their crowning moment though - the ultimate musical STD, it's a thrilling soundtrack to a life of cum-guzzling disco abandon packed with infectious tunes that still pack playlists on daytime radio. Except 'Sex Dwarf' obviously.

Check out : 'Sex Dwarf' - the promo video for this was so kinky that the fucking cops confiscated it so you'll have to settle for the audio version (is that someone being spanked in the background?)

2. The Human League - Dare

The North of England is peppered with urban metrpoles within spitting distance of each other, each with their own musical, sporting and cultural identity. This is what makes it such a rich, cosmpolitan location on planet pop, a veritable place of pilgrimage for all those who love their music. You can stick London up your arse as far as I'm concerned (OK, that's not totally fair but there'll be plenty of time to bang on about the Clash later). If Liverpool had Merseybeat and Manchester had the drizzly genius of Morrissey and Ian Curtis, Steel City had its own unique brand of electronics that shook the world in the early 80s. Sheffield, the jewel in the heart of South Yorkshire, threw forth Heaven 17, ABC and the mighty Human League in the space of a few short years and they went on to soundtrack the times back in '81. Plus they had Jarvis Cocker, who was knocking around in a very early incarnation of Pulp back then long before he dominated British pop in his own right years later. And they had Sean Bean. And Def Leppard. OK, we're going off piste here a little. I'm sure those guys loved electropop too, they were just way too rugged to admit it.

Knowing how to conquer planet pop is a question of balancing the image with the music to create the perfect product. Phil Oakey had been happy enough to avoid the spotlight in the sterile, nerdy incarnation of early period H-League whilst they honed their considerable synth skills, but his recorded output was lacking a dramatic frontline to get noticed. His solution was worthy of any genuine pop svengali - go straight for the fans and bag a couple of teenage birds from the local nightclub, promising them stardom if they'd flank him onstage. It worked like a charm, although Oakey narrowly avoided a kicking from both girls' fathers when he hijacked them for their Top of the Pops debut with 'Sound of the Crowd'. A string of hits followed, many of which are included here ('Open your Heart', 'Love Action' and the ubiquitous 'Don't you want me'), built on a foundation of catchy synth hooks augmented with girl/boy vocal trade offs between Phil and the girls. Compared to the numerous all-bloke electro acts around at the time, the League had an edge through the diversity of their line-up - tunes like 'Don't you want me' (Xmas #1 in 1981 and a wedding disco classic ever since) work because guys and girls can switch verses on the dancefloor as they square up to each other, playing out roles in combat rather than one-way emotional traffic. You could participate in the Human League rather than just spectate. Although for once, 'Dare' isn't just about the singles - the album tracks feature gorgeous synthscapes full of gleaming hooks and infectious melodies. As a complete product, the album managed the rare feat of competing with rock LPs in the 'best album' lists and set the standard for electronic music in album format - it also gave a few clues about where dance music would be headed over the next few years (check out the trancetastic 'Seconds' and compare it with today's floorfillers). Unlike most of the electro LPs on this list, I don't need to justify the status of 'Dare' as a classic album, but it still gets overlooked by guitar nerds and Dylan-worshipping acoustic types. It's their loss - this is Steel City's finest predicting the future and soundtracking their present.

Check out - 'Seconds'. Imagine you're surfing on synth waves. It's that good.

3. The Go-Go's - Beauty and the Beat

The UK singles charts of the early 1980s were a pretty healthy place where ska and new wave could rub shoulders with the androgynous likes of Duran Duran and Adam and the Ants heralding the start of the New Romantic phenomenon that would dominate the decade's early years. Synth dorks like Ultravox and a baby-faced Depeche Mode could score massive chart hits and even the grizzly likes of Motörhead could gatecrash the top ten. We Brits tend to pat ourselves on the back for having such a diverse musical landscape back then whilst the Yanks were wearing sleeveless T-shirts and tube socks whilst they watched Toto perform half a mile away at some drive-in AOR festival. But such snobbery risks overlooking some of the gems of Stateside pop at the dawn of MTV, a channel that first started broadcasting back in August 1981 when New Wave was hitting its commercial peak with the likes of The Cars, Talking Heads and the tail end of Blondie. Whilst all those bands managed to successfully export themselves to Europe at some point, the Yanks' best kept secret was a sassy bunch of ladies weaned on prime-era punk rock who'd sharpened their image to go pop - enter The Go-Go's, New Wave's chart-friendly scene leaders and unwitting grandmothers of every half decent girl band you've ever seen in your life. FACT. 

The girls had cut their teeth in the LA punk scene but were clearly cut out for the more hygienic confines of New Wave when it broke at the end of the 70s, signalling an overnight surge in skinny ties, retro rock stylings and snappy pop punk tailor-made for the charts. Other bands simply drifted into the genre but the Go-Go's grabbed it by the throat and laid down the genre's first classic with their sublime début 'Beauty and the Beat', a sugar-coated blend of pop punk energy, girl group harmonies and fiendishly catchy choruses. What's more, their chops from playing punk set them up as a pretty devastating live band to silence any macho onlookers sneering at the idea of a girl band trying to keep up with the lads. The ladies didn't just keep up, they excelled - 'Beauty' gradually infiltrated the Stateside musical landscape before finally topping the US charts for six weeks straight, comfortably outselling any of their New Wave competitors and turning the band into short-lived superstars. The pop perfection of singles 'Our lips are sealed' and 'We got the beat' conquered US airwaves, the latter also making it onto the soundtrack of 'Fast Times at Ridgemont High', surely the era's finest cinematic tribute to the youth culture of America at the time. Elsewhere upbeat stompers 'How much more' and album closer 'Can't stop the world' provide fuel for the live show, rampaging girls night out anthems 'Tonight' and 'This town' set the tone for a wild evening on the tiles and break-up gems 'Fading Fast' and the unfortunately-named 'Skidmarks on my heart' are the sonic equivalent of tear-strained mascara and spilt cocktails. There's not a weak track on here and you can't help but think that had the album come a couple of years later when MTV-pedalled pop was turning into a massive industry, a good half a dozen singles could have been lifted from 'Beauty and the Beat' without wringing the life out of it. As it stands it's a fitting tribute to the band's songwriting chops and remains one of the best-selling début albums of all time as well as the only record written by an all-female band to top the US charts. Whether they'll acknowledge it as an influence or not, 'Beauty' laid the blueprint not only for prime-era New Wave but also for every chart-friendly girl band to follow in their footsteps, from The Bangles to Shampoo, from Kenickie to The Donnas, there's a debt to these ladies from every cocktail of lipstick, high heels and punk pop to have graced a stage since its release. They couldn't follow it up but Jane Wieldin went on to pen the almighty 'Rush Hour' in 1988 (as well as playing Joan of Arc in the first Bill and Ted film!) whilst Belinda Carlisle cemented herself as pop's greatest pin-up when the even mightier 'Heaven is a place on Earth' kickstarted a run of flawless European hit singles. It may have been largely ignored in the UK and suffered the typical disregard for female rock groups when it comes to compiling 'best album' lists since its release but for my money 'Beauty and the Beat' trumps anything else from the New Wave era and remains the perfect soundtrack to an evening shaving your legs and singing into your hairbrush (erm, metaphorically speaking I mean....).

Check out : it's a tough choice but let's go for 'Our lips are sealed' just for the promo clip.

4. Duran Duran - s/t

The New Romantic explosion of the early 1980s went on to dominate the charts and massively influence fashion back in the UK and also prompted the second 'British Invasion' of the US charts which saw Limey bands outstrip the sales of homegrown acts for the first time since the Beatles. The band at the epicentre of all this? Duran Duran - and boy did they know it. Based on fairly solid pop foundations but configured to offer maximum appeal to radio DJs, Smash Hits magazine and the newly identified force of MTV, the lads made no secret of their desire to become the biggest thing since sliced bread and picked up on every trick that would help them get there. They had the songs to back them up and their 1981 self-titled is full of memorable pop moments but their placing on this list reflects their nous for the machinations of showbiz as much as their contribution to musical history. After all, who would have even heard the songs if they didn't have the image to get people's attention in the first place? Their legacy may include a host of shitty pop fetishists like Mika and Alphabeat, a whole generation of 80s and 90s boybands aiming to reproduce their 'pick your favourite' mass appeal and a bizarre affection amongst legions of American emo bands but Duran Duran still win because they did it all on their own terms and sold astrofuckingnomical amounts of records in the process whilst simultaneously changing the way pop music was marketed for the remainder of the decade. They were even Lady Di's favourite band back in the day! How much more of a recommendation do you need?

One of the main elements of Duran's success was a fairly simple one - although they were ripping off the faceless electronics of Kraftwerk via the paired-down keyboard and vocal configurations of folks like Soft Cell and Yazoo, the boys saw the commercial potential of filling out a full band of well-dressed dandies to ply their trade as a rock ensemble. The five-way attack worked like a charm in terms of pop appeal and sparked frenzied debate amongst teenage girls about who their favourite was that hadn't been seen since the days of the Bay City Rollers. However their wide-ranging approach also allowed multiple personalities to rise to the surface within the group : the androgynous poise of keyboardist Nick Rhodes, the pin-up pout of bassist John Taylor and the flamboyant star quality of vocalist Simon Le Bon (alongside the more workmanlike guitarist and drummer whose names I forget....they were both called Taylor as well I think....). Flanked by such diverse characters often pulling in different directions all at once, they quickly became the ultimate cartoon band, propelled by infectious pop tunes into the digital age of the 1980s as cultural ambassadors for the new decade. Their ascent was perfecting timed with the rise of MTV in the States which quickly became the conduit for their increasingly cinematic promo clips, some of the highest budget productions of the time, as well as with peak-popularity Top of the Pops on British TV and the rising force of Smash Hits magazine in the newsagents, making them almost inescapable by the end of the promotion cycle of their début. Their recorded output would arguably improve but their début sets the tone nicely for what would come later - the cosmic pop androgyny of 'Planet Earth' gave them a signature sound and coined the term 'New Romantic' in its lyrics to become one of their most recognisable hits whilst the racy promo clip for 'Girls on Film' (apparently aimed at nightclub audiences before MTV fully hit its stride) ensured that they had visual thrills to match those on the record. Elsewhere synth soundscapes like 'The Night Boat' and 'Anyone out there' provide the sonic backdrop to a trip across the Barbarella universe from which the band took their name and Giorgio Moroder-style dancefloor thumpers like the bass-heavy 'Sound of Thunder' show their capacity to lock into a tight groove and flesh out their sound to that of a proper live act. They'd go on to better it and make more impressive forays into sound and vision as the decade wore on but Duran Duran's début gets my nod for this selection for its role in launching what was perhaps the biggest pop act of the entire 1980s - their survival long beyond the end of that decade and the longstanding appeal of their material only stands as proof that these boys were tooled up to make a major impact from the very beginning.

Check out : the uncensored promo clip for 'Girls on Film' which would make even Madonna blush.

5. Venom - Welcome to Hell

Set against the pristine synth records that make up the rest of this year's list, Venom's debut stands out like a turd on your spotless silk bedsheets. Musically neanderthal, crammed with clumsy Satanic references and recorded for an apparent budget of about 10 pence, 'Welcome to Hell' nevertheless sent shockwaves through the music community when it landed back in '81 and unwittingly spawned an entire genre that would go on to terrify parents and priests worldwide a decade later. Pretty much the only guitar album on this list, it stands out above its peers as an ugly classic.

Not bad for a bunch of grizzled Geordie dockers who sounded like they were covering Motörhead songs after an all-day brown ale bender. The sonic scuzz that ended up on the record was probably unintentional but it certainly shocked enough people into paying attention - music journalists at the time claim that it sounded terrifying on first listen, dirtier and darker than anything they'd heard before. The band were certainly hellbent on creating a nasty lyrical atmosphere to match their sonic stew - their aim was to freak people out in the same way Black Sabbath did with their sinister debut a decade earlier, but they dispensed with mystery and subtlety and opted instead to rub the listener's face into their compost heap of crude Satanism and clumsy musicianship. It worked, although there was never any substance behind the occult references in their lyrics - the lads were taking the piss throughout, a reality ignored (perhaps deliberately) by the legions of Nordic adolescents who founded a musical movement named after 1982's follow-up 'Black Metal', hellbent on making the darkest, most unsettling music possible. Once the churches started burning a decade later, the lads were quick to point out that none of them were actually Satanists but by then it didn't matter - a global cult was born, ironically started by the descendants of the Viking marauders who rampaged through the North East centuries ago shagging everything in sight. Seeing as the Norwegian BM crew are therefore practically related to Cronos, Mantas and company, you'd expect them to have a better understanding of Geordie humour. Oh well.

Check out : 'In League with Satan'. I dare you to listen to this while staring at the goat on the cover. Yikes!

6. Joan Jett - Bad Reputation

By the start of the 1980s the New Wave explosion had given way to a revival in old school rock 'n' roll and saw many golden oldies revisited with a touch of lipstick and hairspray for the new MTV generation. There's no mistaking the commercial appeal of a good bit of R'n'R and even the punks had come to realise this as the new decade dawned to the sound of 'London Calling', leaving the path clear for some new zest to be injected into a genre that had become re-appropriated by fat sweaty blokes with sideburns by the mid 70s in the USA, awash with razor-dodging 'serious musicians' like Steely Dan, Ram Jam and Kansas. Joan Jett had emerged amidst this swamp of testosterone and bass solos in the mid 70s with The Runaways, the slightly opportunistic yet undeniably influential all-female rock troupe that set the standard for girl groups for years to come. Though their material had a devilishly catchy pop edge to it, their sound was weighed down with too much fluff to ever really connect as a satisfying guitar hit but by the time they split at the end of the 70s the girls were out of their teens and ready to do some serious damage. 'Bad Reputation' saw Joan Jett launch her solo career with a surprisingly beefy mix of old and new, throwing together a bunch of old school R'n'R covers with some of her own new material tapping a similar vein and backed up by a star-studded band of industry chums from Blondie, The Ramones and Sex Pistols for maximum four-to-the-floor delivery. Even with such a line-up the results are surprisingly effective - Jett basically mainlines the sound the Ramones were aiming for on the 'Rock 'n' Roll High School' soundtrack but nails it better than they ever did, blasting Spector-style Motown through a Marshall stack on cuts like 'Make Believe' and 'You don't own me' and delivering K.O. cuts of straightforward R'n'R on the title track and the closing cover of early 80s club favourite 'Wooly Bully'. Joey Ramone may have been a pop lover at heart but his band where anchored to the punk club circuit whereas Jett had the potential to go truly stellar in commercial terms, a point she proved when her follow-up release 'I love Rock 'n' Roll' yielded one of radio's biggest ever hits with its title track in early '82. As well as the debt to classic R'n'R, 'Bad Reputation' is steeped in the sonic heritage of 70s British Glam, a genre that soundtracked the post-60s period by repackaging old school rock 'n' roll with a new touch of fun-loving theatrics and stompalong choruses that decimated the singles charts of the era. Though most of those bands tanked Stateside, they nevertheless made a mark with the likes of Kiss (who cite Slade as one of their main influences) and Mötley Crüe (who tapped up The Sweet's Brian Connolly for a plug in their pre-fame days. He told them to bugger off). Even The Ramones admitted that the Bay City Rollers' US #1 'Saturday Night' had shaped their early sound (the Rollers were the only band from the glam era to really coin it Stateside). On 'Bad Reputation' Joan cocks a respectful nod to Gary Glitter with her rehash of 'Do you wanna touch me there?' whilst simultaneously making its lyrics sound slightly less rapey than the original (those were more innocent times after all) and her blitzkrieg vocal recalls Suzi Quatro at her commercial peak (the only Yank to bag UK success in the glam scene and, perhaps not coincidentally, the only chick to gatecrash the party). Dwelling too long on its lineage risks missing the point of 'Bad Reputation' though - this is an album that ranks alongside the delirious rock stompathons of Slade, Twisted Sister and Andrew WK as the sort of stuff where the opening chords of every song will bring a Cheshire cat grin to your face and send your straight for the volume dial to crank it loud as possible. There's all the devilish satisfaction of classic glam, singalong pop so catchy that you'll have to force yourself not to wear it out by playing it non-stop and frantic runs through classic wedding band staples like 'Shout' that'll have you dancing round the bedroom with your headphones in. She'd coin it in worldwide with 'I love Rock 'n' Roll' the following year but 'Bad Reputation' is where Joan Jett cements her position as the decade's first real rock star, packing enough riffs and R'n'R bombast to usher in a new era of fist in the air rock action. Mötley's début 'Too Fast for Love' dropped the same year but this wipes the fucking floor with it - she may not have remained in the spotlight as long as them but all the glam turkeys that filled 80s MTV owe Joan a fat debt for nailing the genre blueprint before they even got close. 'Bad Reputation' suffers from not having one at all in the modern era but don't let that put you off - this is a real treasure trove waiting to be unearthed. Next time I wake up with a hangover and my headphones turned up way too loud from the night before, chances are this is the record I'll have been listening to on the way home.

Check out : 'Wooly Bully' live with the Blackhearts in tow. Play that shit LOUD!

7. Black Flag - Damaged

Punk's second wave in the early 80s saw the waning spirit of the original mid-70s explosion revived and repackaged in Europe as D-beat and political punk (more on that in 1982 folks!) and as 'hardcore' in the States, basically everything stripped back to basics and ramped up to the max with speed and aggression. The Yanks had initially absorbed the influence of the early British punk bands but by the early 1980s there was a generation of angry kiddies that weren't interested in looking back to a bygone glory era and wanted something nastier to soundtrack a brutal new decade - bands like Dead Kennedys, Circle Jerks and X emerged from the California punk scene as a grimy splashback to the sun-soaked party culture of their home state but there was no band that embodied the pissed-the-fuck-off aesthetic than Black Flag, themselves perhaps the very personification of Yank hardcore. Whilst their peers were often more cerebral, the Flag succeeded in reproducing the balled-up rage and frustration boiling over in every fan that came to their shows hellbent on finding a release. The band were only too happy to oblige and provided the ideal setting for things to get rowdy, mastermind guitarist Greg Ginn throwing down frantic yet danceable riffs and newly recruited vocalist Henry Rollins providing the perfect unhinged frontman to whip the crowd into a frenzy, frequently through onstage rucks and acts of demented provocation. Rollins was ideal for the role - a childhood diet of Ritalin and military school had sent him roaring out of the traps looking for an outlet for his restless energy when he encountered the Flag boys and he became the embodiment of their sound, a volatile cocktail of caffeine, testosterone and self-loathing that you could simply wind up and let rip when showtime came around. The band's live shows were so balls out brutal that they simply wore out their welcome in most of the local venues in Southern California and had to go further afield to find places to play, although this in turn resulted in them becoming the unlikely mentors for the nascent DIY punk scene in the States, an underground network of contacts that bands could use to locate places to play, flats to crash at and like-minded souls across the nations that would support their gig when they were in town. Rollins' book 'Get in the van' chronicles the scene in warts 'n' all detail and Black Flag's stock is still high in punk rock circles for their early efforts in developing the scene numerous bands became part of over the course of the 1980s. Of course their legend status would be ill-merited if they didn't have the tunes to back it up but 'Damaged' hits all the targets straight from the word go, opener 'Rise Above' nailing a defiant gang chant your modern Hatebreed types would give their right nut for and from there on in it's a thrilling rush of rage, self-hatred and amped-up aggression all the way through. Rollins apparently used to glug coffee by the fucking pot while he was on tour which probably explains a lot, the likes of 'Padded Cell' and 'Thirsty and Miserable' practically bouncing off the walls in directionless fury whilst the nihilist introversion of 'Depression' and 'What I see' depict a more fragile character with too much time left to think. It's not all downbeat through, live staple 'Six Pack' celebrating the joys of having too much to drink and too little to do whilst the goofy 'TV Party' ushers in an impromptu bro-down on another night in, although it's perhaps noteworthy that even in their lighter moments the Flag sound restless and jittery, always only a step away from flying off the handle. If you're familiar with Rollins' metal-tinged solo stuff or his erratic stand-up material then you'll know that he hasn't mellowed that much over the years but in truth we'd be disappointed if he did as he's become one of punk's more endearing icons, a dude who never forgot why he got into the scene to begin with. 'Damaged' still sounds face-meltingly ferocious 30 years later and can go toe to toe with any of today's tattooed skate troupes, laying down a brutal marker that has yet to be truly bettered. They may embody the bovine aggression that many feel blighted punk rock in the 80s but the genre needed someone to mainline the antisocial red mist looming around Cali in the early Reagen years and the Flag were the only ones to suck it up and spit it back out stronger.

Check out : 'Rise Above', whilst trying not to destroy your bedroom. Difficult, I know.

8. Oingo Boingo - Only a Lad

Incursions of comedy into music are often met with considerable hostility, especially amongst artists or fans who feel their chosen field is being parodied and who often ask somewhat frostily why those taking the piss don't just come up with something better themselves if they're so bloody clever. I can sort of understand that viewpoint but at the same time I've always appreciated a dose of humour in my music, whether it's the black lyrical humour of Morrissey or Therapy's Andy Cairns or the straightforward musical parody of Frank Zappa, Spike Jones or Weird Al Yankovic. The punk and new wave period provided for its own kookier outfits like Dead Kennedys and Devo but nobody really made a point of poking fun to quite the same extent as Oingo Boingo, a reformed cabaret act on the comedy circuit who pounced on the new wave movement as a means to bring their nutjob compositions into the mainstream. Led by the multi-talented Danny Elfman who'd later move into film/TV composition (his most famous contribution to popular culture being the theme music from 'The Simpsons'), the band tapped up the tight rhythms of New Wave pop and augmented them with a brass section for added scope, turning their not inconsiderable musical chops to the trends of the early MTV era to great effect. Nippy guitar riffs, horn blasts, elastic bass and sparkling synth lines soundtrack Boingo's début which provided an uncomfortable mirror for many of their peers when it dropped in 1981 proving that, much like similarly-minded virtuoso agitator Frank Zappa, they could pump out potential hit singles at will but were determined to add a bit of snot to them in the shape of their own biting social commentary. Boingo's stance is similar to the guys behind 'South Park', they're a left wing bunch by default but get no satisfaction from picking on conservatives and instead direct their ire at the contradictory tenets of lazy liberalism - whilst I wouldn't necessarily want to listen to a full album of 'Blame Canada', 'Only a Lad' hangs together as a catchy album of savage satire pop in the same way as Zappa's best work and could pass of as a straight-faced take on the genre for anyone who doesn't understand the lyrics. Whether they're sticking the boot in on hipsters on pop-culture alienation anthem 'On the outside' or snide journalists on 'Imposter', Boingo's judgements are both cripplingly accurate and viciously funny - best of all is the leftie-baiting anthem 'Capitalism' which makes the Dead Kennedy's 'Holiday in Cambodia' look positively complimentary by comparison and deserves to be played back louder at every time you hear disgruntled teenagers pumping out 'Killing in the name' for the umpteenth time. Elsewhere their rehash of the Kinks' 'You really got me' makes Van Halen's version from the same period sound lumpen and conservative and the rollicking title track is perhaps their most chart-worthy material, matching anything Buggles or Blondie could manage at the time but ultimately ending up too clever for its own good. They lower the tone enough to keep their humour at comedy club level on the Zappa-esque 'Nasty Habits' and opener 'Little Girls' (remaining deliberately evasive over how little the girls they're singing about actually are) which accentuates the fun but again keeps them another step away from mainstream acceptance. Elfman and co knew enough about pop to stay in the business as writers, producers or performers but they'd already developed enough cynicism for the music world by the time their début landed that their future forays veered closer to film and TV, initially notching various high-profile soundtrack appearances (Fast Time at Ridgemont High, Back to School and Weird Science for which they wrote the theme music) before Danny Elfman became a full-time film score composer and went on to pen the music for zillions of high profile flicks over the years (Batman, Men in Black, Spiderman, Edward Scissorhands....). You'll almost certainly be familiar with his work on those grounds alone but it's worth tracing Elfman's musical career back to square one for a glimpse of what New Wave culture was like below the surface. Musical comedy requires an attention to detail that often surpasses that of the era's most successful artists and Elftman's take on 1981's musical landscape is relentlessly savage and wincingly accurate so for a snapshot of the times you could do a lot worse.

Check out : 'Capitalism', possibly the most vicious kicking ever dealt out to the liberal mindset.

9. Spandau Ballet - Journeys to Glory

I am bound to come in for a bit of stick for this one but fuck it - Spandau are overdue some props and I'm stepping up to give 'em. Long regarded as the stockbrokers of 80s pop embodying the worst characteristics of the decade's excess and overblown plastic pomp, the boys began life as a credible art school project busting out top drawer electro pop before they morphed into the wine-bar double-breasted suit monstrosity that most people remember circa 'True' and even that seems endearing when placed alongside the succession of whiteboy soul flops, acrimonious break-ups and lawsuits, Eastenders cameos and Tony Hadley tripling his bodyweight that came afterwards. Whilst their 80s rivals Duran Duran have enjoyed various periods of revivalist attention, Spandau seem doomed to the crap nostaglia circuit alongside the likes of Shakin' Stevens. They may have brought much of it on themselves but let's cut the boys some slack and put aside our preconceptions for an overdue reappraisal of their début 'Journeys to Glory' that landed smack bang in the middle of the British electropop boom and saw them instantly elevated to the top of the stack. 

Spandau were the first of the New Romantic bands I got into during a period of reappraisal prompted by a late 90s Channel Four documentary on the era (which you can check out here if you're interested) based on tunes alone, and they had plenty to go around. It's easy to forget the boys' art house leanings in view of their relentlessly commercial faux soul direction later in the decade but their decision to name themselves after the death throes of hanged prisoners in a German jail tends to suggest that they weren't aiming for Smash Hits from the very beginning. Their overnight success upon release of stonking début hit 'To cut a long story short' saw them put in a ludicrous Top of the Pops appearance clad in tartan with Tony Hadley blaring out the lyrics like he was busting out King Lear at the Barbican, a preposterous mix of straight-faced art house pomp and dynamic electro pop commercialism. Whilst their peers leaned towards androgynous pin-up charm, Spandau were a pillar of humourless heterosexuality and the barrel-chested delivery of Hadley set them apart as the straight boys in a sea of camp cabaret and gender-bending performance art. Their delivery might have come across as slightly stilted but they certainly knew their way around a catchy synth line and the rudimentary elements of funk, mixing the two decent effect on mid-album instrumental 'Age of Blows' and their surprisingly avant garde second single 'The Freeze' which chops together an infectious mix of synth, bass and guitar riffs to rival anything their electropop peers could throw down at the time. Better still is the closing couplet of 'Confusion' and 'Toys', the former looping a jangly guitar riff over Hadley's soaring vocals and a melody most indie bands would sell their soul for and the latter laying down an epic electro set-closer that should have ranked alongside 'Vienna' and 'Say Hello, wave Goodbye' as the New Romantic era's bring the house down moments. Their insistence on blowing everything up one notch and playing it straight didn't match the mood of the times but they still had the tunes to match any of their rivals and would maintain a steady hit rate of memorable singles throughout the early 1980s until 'True' nailed their colours to the mast as a vanilla soul outfit in mid-1983, by which time the electropop bubble was close to bursting in any case. Their later output has seen to it that their initial avant garde material is perceived as little more than a passing phase but that shouldn't prevent later listeners from enjoying it - you can rank Spandau alongside the likes of Whitesnake and Razorlight, bands lacking any kind of self awareness who went for the money and came to embody the best or worst elements of their commercial era depending on your viewpoint. I'm always tempted to be sympathetic in these cases, there's nothing wrong with soundtracking the times and then fading into anachronism and if that's the price they paid for the Thatchersite soul pop years then so be it. 'Journeys' nevertheless stands as one of the era's best LPs, a solid slab of catchy synth pop and proof that they had the chops to survive on the larger stage - set aside your cynicism and give this one a cursory spin, you might find yourself pleasantly surprised.

Check out : 'To cut a long story short' live on TOTP, rocking the 'Braveheart goes electro' look.

10. OMD - Architecture and Morality

It's always the quiet ones isn't it? Compared to their electropop peers, the two dorks from OMD looked like junior banking executuives that had accidentally walked through the wrong door in the Top of the Pops studio and found themselves onstage. Though their sound was not a million miles away from the other guys on this list, their image was the total anthithesis to the theatrical pracing of Oakey, Almond, Gahan et al. Andy Mclusky had fucking CURLY HAIR and they came from the Wirral, which is almost as bad as being from Liverpool but not quite. But they succeeded despite the odds being stacked against them - like the specky computer nerds who sit at the back of the class not talking to anyone and beavering away industriously on their own pet projects, they came out on top once everyone heard the results.

'Architecture' is their third album of sober, frosty electronics and was released smack bang in the middle of a faultless run of massive hits, three of which are included here ('Joan of Arc, 'Maid of Orleans' and 'Souvenir'). The tunes aren't exactly floor-fillers but they channel the same vibe as Kraftwerk with a sexually-repressed British tilt - the video clip for 'Souvenir' is a good example, it's got all the sensuality of a cold dick in the ear. On the Kraftwerk note, it's perhaps significant that the Germans lapped this shit up more than anyone else - 'Maid of Orleans' was the best-selling single over there in '82. I guess David Hasselhoff wasn't releasing records back then. Aside from the hits, the rest of the album is devoted to ethereal synthscapes that hit middle ground between Vangelis and the Human League - which should suck, but somehow doesn't. They probably got tired of writing hit singles after this though, seeing as their next release (1983's 'Dazzle Ships') was way too wacked-out to threaten the pop charts. Mclusky later surfaced as main songwriter for Atomic Kitten, cementing his place in the Scouse musical hierachy, and as I write this the duo are back together getting their synth on for a new generation of fans. Another triumph of dorkdom - good work guys!

Check out : that promo clip for 'Souvenir'. It's like the backing video for a gay Japanese kareoke song.

Tune of the Year

Blondie - 'Rapture'

Who was the first artist to rap on a #1 single on the US charts? Debbie fucking Harry baby!! 'Rapture' had been released on the previous year's 'Autoamerican' LP but didn't come out as a single until 1981 and proceeded to give the band their last significant hit on either side of the Atlantic, though in typical fashion they went out on a high note. A horny hybrid of disco, rock and the nascent sounds of hip hop, the track was the first taste of rap culture that the distinctly white bread MTV broadcast to a nation of unsuspecting viewers, mixing in video cameos for Jean-Michel Basquiat and Fab Five Freddy alongside lyrical nods to Grandmaster Flash over clanging bells, Harry's dreamy vocals and that wicked little guitar line on the way out. It might have been a case of a pop band nailing the zeitgeist rather than a true example of musical innovation but that hasn't stopped it being sampled to fuck by the likes of Jay-Z, Destiny's Child, KRS-One and Grandmaster Flash himself on 'Adventures on the Wheels of Steel' so its hip hop pedigree is firmly intact. Blondie's best LPs were before my time so I haven't included any on here but they deserve a nod for this distinctly unique slab of boogie magic.