Jon Bon Jovi - Please come home for Christmas
I would normally make every effort to avoiding anything involving Jon Bon Jovi but it's not an easy task - the guy has managed to pilot his shitty poodle rock troupe through three decades of audio pollution without ever going away and his perfect teeth and hairy chest seem destined to pop up wherever you look. Although Bon Jovi are typically regarded as an 80s band, they actually enjoyed their biggest sales year in 1994 when their 'Crossroad' best of compilation was the year's biggest seller and the fuck-awful ballad 'Always' provided them with the their biggest ever hit on both sides of the Atlantic. Just to rub it in, JBJ elected to release his cover version of 60s festive hit 'Please come home for Christmas' (the Eagles had released their own cover of it in the late 70s which is way better) which followed 'Always' into the top ten in December 1994 on the back of a lurid promo video featuring the vocalist rolling around half naked with Cindy Crawford. It somehow wasn't enough that his band could wallpaper their spare room with platinum albums or that they'd been the only hair metal band to survive the grunge explosion, the guy still has to make sure we all know how awesome he is by bumping uglies with a supermodel? Thanks a lot Jon, you smug, smug fucker.
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